My ProFiLe!


Name: Matt
Location: Beacon/Poughkeepsie, NY
Occupation: Information Technologies/LAN Administration.
DOB: 2/13/83(Finally 21)
Sex: Male
Languages: English, Some Spanish, and Pourtugese.
Todays Mood: Mildly Tired, happy.
CD of the day: Sum 41 - Does this Look infected?
Tattoos: 2
Peircings: 2 (1 for each ear)
Hair Color: Dark Brown (practically Black)
Eyes: Brown
Weight: 165
Height: 5'10
Marital Status: Taken =0
Facial hair: Goatee
Glasses: Yes - emo StyLe (Black Framed)
Clothing: Polo Jeans, T-shirt, Black Element hat. Sneakers, Fleece pullover
Drinking: Dasani Water.
Car: '02 Ford Focus ZX5


   

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Charlie Brown
You are Charlie Brown!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!


Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
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BloG's I Watch:

Bloggin from Jail


Punk Rock Princess


WaterKisses


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Jul 31, 2004
You're my only one.

Talk about a long time since last, its been a good few months of not Bloggin, im suprised i still have my account here, a lot has happened within these months of not popping on though, ill try and sum it all up into a few short sentances and then go onto the real stuff... well, the months of may and june were horrible, had some deaths in the family, first my dog, then my paternal grandmother passed away from Alzheimers (R.I.P) So its been crazy with that, My parents finally sold the house, but havent closed on the selling so they're/I'm still there for now, I just recently started renting an apartment about 7-8 miles from my old house, in Fishkill, its not that bad of a place, im slowly but surely moving my stuff in the apartment, the landlord is a nice older guy, prolly in his 60's hes a very nice guy, quiet person as well... the rent is 800 a month but everythings included so thats not too bad, plus its less of a drive to work everyday which is nice... im gonna start moving some bigger things in very soon... right now i have a few things to keep the place semi nice, but nothing major yet... anyways so thats that, im still currently with my g/f and im still working at the same job as before. But lately things have been getting kinda stressful in my life and i think its definitely time for some sort of change in the way things are done with my life. Lately me and my girl have been arguing over everything, shes begun to get very controlling and at times straight up nasty with me. and when I say/do something she doesnt like she gets all angry with me, and shit, and its like im walking on egg shells everytime im with her I was talking to my mom, and stuff about it, and she really thinks i should just end it, and so does Brynne, who, Her and I have been getting much more closer again (I think/hope) and everyday that goes by is more incentive for me to leave my girlfriend when i talk to her, we have been friends for years, and she has a boyfriend, but shes not sure whats gonna happen with that, and I have already expressed how i feel for her a million times over, and i know that if she and him end it soon, then im going down there, to possibly live there ultimately... I am in love with her, in love with her unlike anyone ive ever known in my entire life, and everyday that goes by i think of her, i think how we should be together and how things could be once/if we are. You ever know how u know ur in love, u get tingles in ur stomach and that weird feeling, all u wanna do is think about this person all day long, well thats the way it is for me. All i wanna do is talk to her, or be around her, but unfortunately im stuck her waiting to find out if what im hoping for really will happen... i just think that i need to get out of here, and out of NY, and away from everything a vacation from life would be nice, but not away from Brynne... shes the only thing that keeps me leveled and i love her because of that... shes never been prejudiced against me, or looked at me differently, or tried to control or belittle me, like my current g/f and its been this way for over 10 years of back and forth chatting, letters, emails, phone calls and the like... thats why i really feel like something is possibly going to happen within the enxt few months. its all a matter of time i guess, we'll see im just hoping it works out the way im hoping because i promise i would make it all worth while for the both of us, and i would never hurt her... i honestly feel like she is "the one" all without even meeting her in person, we just click so well that i think she and I will make it happen, but we'll see... i tell u my life needs to be a reality show, then some people will understand what it is like to be me for once hahha... see the other side of the story but until the day we meet, i will keep praying that something between us actually happens and my dreams come true... i dont know what will happen if she decides to stay with her boyfriend though... in a way i will be crushed, so crushed im prolly its gonna take me a while to gather myself back, but i wont be angry at her, i cant be mad at her for something she wants to do, its her decision, and its her own heart she has to follow, i'll go and meet her still if she stays with him, as i wanna get out of this town, but i think aside from that we will just be friends unfortunately, but who knows life works in the weirdest ways and i believe everything happens for a reason, even if it sets u back, or hurts u in the long run... i think god has my back on this and if things dont go as i want them to, i think its cuz he has bigger plans for me so we'll see... i mean shit im still young, im 21 years old theres a million things i can go and do still if i dont end up getting with her, theres so many things i can do its not funny, but i know what i want, and what i want terribly is her, but like i said, im not gonna force her into it, im not gonna get my hopes up and expect her to be with me, but i know that whatever happens is meant to be in my life, gods watchin thats what i believe... but anyways what else can i say other than life works in amazing ways heh... so we'll see... anyways it feels kinda good to get this out, i dont really have many people to talk to anymore that wont be completely biased and just take my ideas for what they are, so i turn to this... and i can only tell Brynne how i feel so much ya know. but anyways, i guess ill end this, for now, and leave with lyrics to a song this is one of my new Favs!

Only One - Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up) 
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

Posted at 04:10 pm by FinDingEmo
Comments (2)

Mar 21, 2004
The Dead will walk the earth

It's been a couple days since I've written here, the past couple days have been hella busy, my weekend kinda was dead, I had to work a double shift tuesday night, and then come in here again wednesday morning, on top of it, I had to work my day off which was thursday, for 4.5 hours, then I ended up spending the whole afternoon with my G/F which wasn't too bad, we spent most of the days (thur. and fri) sleepin. Which wasnt bad, it helped me catch up on sleep, as I was terribly tired, the past couple of days were crazy, it snowed continually until friday evening, however it wasnt a treachorous snowfall, and very little snow that fell actually stuck to the ground and caused any kind of problems. Thursday night, we were feeling a little hungry so we went to the diner and got some coffee and some dessert, it was fun, then we headed back to my place, and fell asleep, after a few hours of just layin in bed... friday morning, I woke up early, and played video games for a few hours, and then my g/f woke up, we decided to go get some food, so we had eaten lunch then went back to my place, and took a shower, then passed out again... lol, then woke up a lil later and went to grab dinner, so not much of an eventful weekend for me, saturday came along, and things got a bit more interesting, I took my g/f out to this restaurant we both like, then we went to my house and watched some DVD's then headed to the movie theatre to go see "Dawn of the Dead" When i was driving home, to go watch DVD's I noticed a for sale sign in front of my house, My house is now officially on the market, which means I officially have to start looking for a place soon... anyways, what else oh yeah so DAWN OF THE DEAD KICKED ASS!!! WHAT A MOVIE!! VERY GORY, VERY FREAKY, but excellent acting, I give it two thumbs up for sure! LoL!! So After that we went back to her house, and I dropped her off, and went home, I was late to work today, I slept in hehehe... No big deal its not a monday or anything, tommarow is back to the "real grind" mondays always suck... they are always busy, we're always so busy, but anyways, I'm looking at more motorcycles, and I think I found a bike that I really like, and I may be able to get it brand new, for 4,500 so I'm looking into that as a possibility, with the other possibility of me taking out a loan on the bike to help pay for it (small loan maybe like 1,500, or so. I'm going to take the permit exam next week, and then the road test in april when they have the class. So that should be interesting. Work is slowly dragging along its just about 12:30, almost time for lunch, i think I will wait til I'm good and hungry, before I eat. I'm slowly but surely trying to get back on a dieting regiment again... It's tough though, real tough... but i think once the weather gets a lil warmer consistantly, I'm going to definetly want to start running again which will definetly help me get back into shape, thats what I hate about NY, its cold half the year so, I dont have much time to go out and run, without the worry of catching pnuemonia. lol. So anyways, Not too much going on, been kinda boring lately, I called Chrystal the other night which was nice to talk to her, she's doing alright, she sounded very happy to hear from me which is always a good thing =) Chrystals a good person, shes a good friend I cant wait til she comes up again i cant wait til the weather gets warmer, and the days get longer, I hope we can have at least 1 more fourth of july at my house before I move... 1 party would be fun... we'll have to see what happens, so anyways I'm going to get going I leave today with lyrics from The Starting line. Enjoy!

 MAtTģ

The Starting Line - This Ride

It says hold on and take this ride
and set aside memories of all the times 
when you collide 
then you'll leave me here to die 
heres the things I meant but I never said 

It says sit back and take this time 
to lose your mind 
and find out what its like to die 
so wheres my spine 
when its time to give an obvious and simple reason 
why I wont ride again 

What do you see when you look at me 
Do you take me for a fool 
So what makes you play this game 
With results always the same 
and nothing but bad reputations to gain 

It speaks me like all is fine 
when I could cry 
from all the bends and breaks that I took this time 
when happiness is based on lies 
its so hard, its too hard to tell the truth 

What do you see when you look at me 
Do you take me for a fool 
This fool is through

This fool is through
This fool is through

What do you see when you look at me 
Do you take me for a fool 
what do you see when you look at me 
do you take me for a fool 

It says hold on and take this ride 
and set aside memories of all the times 
when you collide 
then you'll leave me here to die 
heres the things I meant but I never said



And that Does it for today Folks Until then I bid U Adieu
MatT





Posted at 03:41 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 16, 2004
The Snow Falls in march...

ģTuesday nights are not meant to be spent here at work, but obviously this tuesday night is meant to be spent here... See it's snowing out, and the weather is shitty, and people I work with believe that when 1 flake of snow falls on the ground that they cannot make it in... so unfortunately I get stuck here working a double shift here. 2 people called in today, so that means myself and another person from first shift have to stay and cover for second shift as well. It really sucks being stuck here, the only thing I can honestly think of right now is sleeping, I want to go to sleep so bad right now, I'm so tired I want to pass out right here and sleep, but I know I'd get in trouble for that, we just had chinese food, which was delivered through the storm... (the snow doesnt affect those guys) So, Here I sit, with the continual humming of servers and the faint sound of Rock n Roll from the Radio station, with the occasional sound of someone walking around or the occasional voice, or phone ringing... other  than that its been a quiet evening here so far. I'm supposed to go out with the boys tommorow, but the more i think about it, the more I dont think I am going out with them, I just know when I get in tommarow im just going to sleep, and sleep and not move from that bed until the night is over... So I think I'm going to give them a rain check and tell em maybe another time, we'll go to new paltz or somewhere local to my house or something... Work is slowly progressing on, and I'm just getting more and more tired. I wish I could go home and just shave and shower right now. I need a shower so bad it is unreal. I'm a mess.... I hate the fact that these people call in everytime It snows, not that I dont mind making extra money its just that I'd like to relax a little bit myself, tommarow's wednesday aka Friday... So Maybe I'll hit up the bar tommarow night by myself... Finnegans bar right next to my house, grab a beer and drink to my health, but that it... I dont know I just wish I was home, I actually for once miss my girlfriend and wish I was with her right now... I wish I was with someone, cuz im really tired and I want to fall asleep... I hate this shit luckily i dont hgave to go to the doctor on thursday, I go on Friday this time which is a nice thing so I wont get butchered on thursday... I'm going to start reading the motorcycle permit book again, and take the test ASAP So I can work on taking the class to get my liscence and stuff... I want a motorcycle so bad, no one has any clue... I wont want anything else I promise... hehe, im working so hard to get the money put away... its going to be nice, cuz this extra money will be in next weeks check which is good i could definetly use it... We'll see what happens in time I will get one... My dad will help me, It's going to be like the last time They help me with anything then I will be on my own looking for my own place and what not, thats going to be a trip, I'm thinking of asking my girls brother if he and his g/f are interested in getting a place together with my girl... it would save on costs thats for sure... we will see what happens... Getting a place is going to be so different. It's going to be a real trip getting a place together, living together and what not, I just hope it works out for the best, and I dont got to pay 1,000's of dollars every month for crap we'll see sheesh... its almost 8:00pm... only a few more hours to go... then I can go home and go to sleep and rest and  relax for 7 hours before i come back here at 07:00 in the morning... anyways... I'm tired, I'm going to go take a walk around the building for a lil bit... and maybe grab a cup of coffee or something, I'll write more later... No Lyrics for tonight, I'm too tired and lazy to post em right now, I'll post later! LatErz

 MaTtģ

Posted at 10:53 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 14, 2004
Quote the Raven, Nevermore...

Saturday came and went, what a cold day it was yesterday, and an even colder night, I spent the majority of the night at my girlfriends cousins house, they eventually passed out around 11:00 o'clock thank goodness, as I did not know how much more I could take. My Girlfriends mom went out so i ended up spending the whole evening with her, and sleeping there til this morning, as I had not planned on doing so, I wanted to leave at 3:00am but I was so tired, I felt it was rediculous to get up and drive home when i could get 3 more hours of sleep there... so I slept there, woke up at 6:00am and headed to work, it was a very cold morning, once I opened the door, the cold air hit me like someone through a wall of ice in front of me and I walked into it... I slowly made it to my frost riddled car and headed to work, arriving at work about 10 minutes to seven, I stumbled my way into the building and into the office in which i work in, I felt a bit rugged this morning, As I was still in the same clothes, unshaved, and not showered... Needless to say when I get out of here I'm going to go take a shower. I really wasnt planning on spending the night there, or even staying late, as I wanted to go home, say hi to my parents and give my pal chrystal a phone call, unfortunately none of the above happened as I ended up spending the night there with my g/f... I felt bad about not calling chrystal, and tried to call her before i left work yesterday to let her know my chances of calling are going to be slim, but I didnt reach her... I will try calling her tonight to see how she is, and get her smiling a lil more, she and I were talking yesterday afternoon and she seems a bit stressed so i will offer her some Comic Relief as I guess i can be quite amusing to my friends. After work, I did stop at my mothers job and stopped in to say hi, we talked for a few minutes, but her boss was in, and he recognised me, and we were chatting for a while, hes a really nice guy, he like me and my mom and he jokes with me, cuz i used to work for him before I got into the whole IT Field so then I left her job, and stopped to get gas, Gas Prices in NY are so rediculous it cost me so much money to fill my tank its so unreal... so anyways once that was over thats when my day began today has been going like any other weekend has been, nice and slow thank goodness... the day is progressing but at an abnormally slow pace as it is only 11:00am but its ok... the day will end soon enough... anyways today im pretty happy, I think i made a new friend, her handle is "waterkiss" I will add her to my favorites, I got her email addy and stuff, hopefully we'll be chat pals or something she seems pretty nice, and cute too.. shes in Malaysia though, thats a bit far for me! lol... well what else is new not too much hopefully when i get home I can talk to my parents about this motorcycle as I'd really like to go down and take a look at it and move on taking all the necessary exams and stuff to get the liscence as I already know how to ride! =) well I will post more later until then have a great day everyone!! New Lyrics for today enjoy!!!

  MaTtģ

Todays Lyrics:
    Thursday - Paris In Flames

Now it's time to wrap our fears in the night
And on the first day I'll dress this city in flames
After the things you say
You hate me for being this way

Still you won't let go of old ideals
There is no headline to read at night
When the record skips and you're not holding the needle

We all sing the songs of separation
And we watch our lives bleed out through our hands
Thats how it was on the first day
When saw Paris in Flames

rain rain down
I think it's gonna rain, rain down
I think it's gonna rain, rain down
I think it's gonna rain 
I think it's gonna rain, rain down
I think it's gonna rain, rain down
I think it's gonna rain

Here in this collapsed lung of a borough
There is no sunlight
The sunlight is manufactured in a windowless room
Distant and incoherent
Businessmen hang themselves

We all sing the songs of seperation
and we watch our lives bleed out through our hands
that's how it was on the first day
when we saw Paris in flames

The lower side is a jukebox playing the deadman's crescendo
The needle is a vector
An intersection that we all must cross
A dimly lit hallway where shadows of moths decorate the walls
Discard this message, discard this message, discard this message

Burn your city down

Discard this message
Throw this bottle back in the ocean
Rip this page from the history books
Smash all the street signs
Erase all the maps
Forget my name
Forget my face
Forget my name
Because it's gonna rain, it's gonna rain
and it never ends

We all sing the songs of separation 
(Rain Rain Down, I think its gonna rain rain down)
and we watch our lives bleed out through our hands
(I think its gonna rain rain down, I think its gonna rain)
that's how it was on the first day
(Rain Rain Down, I think its gonna rain rain down)
when we saw Paris in flames
(I think its gonna rain rain down, I think its gonna rain)


Posted at 02:22 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 13, 2004
When all of your wishes are granted, Many of your dreams will be destroyed...

So It's Saturday, whoopie! Happy Saturday, My parents are home, they found land and a house, in Florida, and its going to be damn near a year before they finally move but they're going to be moving, so that means I gotta find a place within the time they are looking for a place... and that I gotta start saving some money... So that's that... They just got home a lil while ago, and I called to see if they made it in yet, so anyways, its friggen cold today, its been one of them crazy ass days already this morning, being woken up at 5 o'clock and leaving to go to work, thank god for caffeine though, I don't know what I would do with out it, cuz I'd be dead right now, but here I am jittery as can be for a saturday morning, just had my usual bagle and coffee deal I go to dunkin donuts right next door, every saturday, because, they're cheaper than most DD, plus there's this girl who works there, she's prolly a little younger than me, and she looks like shes of some sort of spanish descent, probably mexican, cuz shes got the cutest eyes, and shes got her lip peirced and i just want to get her number one day, and ask her if she'd like to go out, cuz shes so damn cute... but I cant gather up the nerve to ask her, god knows how old she is too... I wouldnt wanna be hittin on no 16 yr old... i mean if shes like 19/20 thats dope... but i dont know.... anyways enough of that, I've been so busy lately its like unreal, yesterday i spent the day, cleaning up a million and 1 things around the house but oh well soon enough I will be doing it in my own house, and cleaning up after myself... at least I wont have any animals to clean up after, or feed... and I wont have to clean up after my brother... Sometimes growing up can be weird, I want to move out and get my life started but its just gonna be so weird... I'm not sure I wanna even live with my girl friend... I mean... I don't know, I know how she'll be about shit... and plus that like totally destroys my private life, my house, when im alone is like my sanctuary or something, its my own place to get away from having her breathing down my neck, watching my every move... thus the reason why i have this blog... I know its going to be a matter of time, before i just flip out and tell her I want out... I know it is... I don't know how much more I can take... I want a vacation, from LIFE IN GENERAL! ID RATHER WORK 24 Hours a day... that would be a vacation... don't pay me, I'll just stay here I want to get away from people, ok, Im going to rant for a few minutes at why she, and her family make me so fucking mad... first off, she will constantly ask me the same fuckin questions over and over again... it drives me nuts, she completely relies on me to do things for her which she should be doing on her own, although i have opted to at times (I.E. Her history Homework) WE totally disagree on any type of movie to watch or anything like that... we cannot listen to the same music in the car, as she thinks BOY BANDS Are Gods gift to the world, ok, now to her Brother, I love her brother, but he's 26 years old and HAS NO DIRECTION IN LIFE... HE HAS A TEACHING DEGREE BUT OPTS TO SIT ON HIS ASS AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY LONG... When his girlfriend comes over, he doesnt even answer the door for her, he makes other people answer the door, because he cant pull his lazy ass off the chair away from the playstation... his own mother still pays his car insurance and he lives at home, his last g/f broke up with him for the same reason of playing video games all the time... hes very lazy, and makes his sister do everything, if i were his mother i would have kicked him out a long time ago... he cant even get up to answer the door to let me in... citing, "He doesnt HEAR THE DOOR BELL" My Ears Continually ring from years of loud Rock Concerts and I can hear when the door bell rings from outside the house, so give me a break... 26 years old... He quit his job thinking he was going to get a better one but didnt, now he's unemployed, living off his mother, its fucking hilarious, I wish my parents would pay one month of my car insurance, opposed to his mother paying his whole years bill, not to mention his mother doesnt make that much as it is and still pays for his shit... he doesnt know how lucky hes got it... Her Mother Makes me Madd cuz shes so fuckin anal about everything, if a door is open in the house, like the door to the basement, she flips out, if someone steams up the bathroom after taking a shower she gets pissed if someone cooks in the house she complains about the smell the cooking made... she makes her daughter do everything holding little regard for the fact that her more than able bodied brother is locked downstairs playin video games, truthfully she needs to chill but thats just me... her father, is far from sane too, citing the fact that he's in debt above his ears and doesnt have a real job anymore, aside from working as a "Business man" Selling Modular homes and shit... I dont know man... some times people just piss mee off and I've gotta rant... I just have to rant... anyways... The days going along well... so far, pretty quiet which is nice... only a few more hours left in the day I'm going to call the motorcycle shop a little later today and try and talk to the guy about this bike im possibly interested in buying... so we'll see what he says about that... aside from that nothing new is really happening, just kinda chillin out here at work, can't wait to get out of here and relax for a lil while though, but unfortunately that will be short lived cuz we have to go and babysit my girlfriends cousins tonight, wonderful a screaming 4th grader and a sixth grader to deal with tonight for 6 hours I love it... When i get out of there tommarow, i think ill go to the bar and slam a couple shots back to chill out... haha... So anyways... I guess im in a ranting mood today but thats just me I just wanna dissappear for a few days, go relax meet some interesting people, and get away from the norm! get out of this town, get out of this life for a few days... thats what i need a reality trip, a trip away from everyone and everything!! AAAAHHHH!!! haahahaha! I'm a lunatic... I know... Sheesh... I dont know man... Just wanna drive away... to Texas, haha... Well I guess I'm going to get going, I got some stuff to do here... I'll be back later--LAtERZZZZ!!!

MaTtģ

P.S. The Following Lyrics have been very influential to me and seem to reflect a lot on one of my past relationships.

Lyrics:

Something Corporate - Fall - From the Album: Leaving Through the Window


I close my eyes
Thought I was lost but I was stranded
I go outside
To my surprise the sky had landed
I thought it made more sense
If I could only keep you guessing
I was a fool to think
That I should stop you from undressing
Now I'm believing all the words you say
That I can't say back to you
To you

So I fall
I don't want to feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And I'll just fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I fall

I kiss your neck
I feel you breathing on my shoulder
Still I'm perfect
It must be you cause now it's over
I was so close
That was the most that I have ever been through
Now old cassettes and cigarettes
Will be the ones to save you
How can you ask for me to stay
When all you ever do is go?
Just go

So I fall
I don't wanna feel this small
You know I just can't handle this 
Handle this at all
So I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
wonder when I 

Go on
You've kept me waiting
Go on
And watch me as I fall
I don't want to feel this small
You know I just can't handle this
Handle this at all
And so I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I faulter as the music stops
And you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I

Posted at 02:50 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 12, 2004
Super Dooper Gary Cooper

So, It's been about 6 days since I've last blogged... I've been so busy, like seriously busy... My parents went down to florida, to look for a new house, to move into, but the last time i talked to them the search wasnt going to well, I guess that buys me more time, for 1 to buy a motorcycle, and 2 look for a place of my own. So... I've been dealing with all kinds of shit, cleaning, taking out the garbage, doing the laundry, (for everyone in my house) and worst of all cleaning up after my brother... my brother is a pig... the first night the kid made tuna fish, he left the tuna can that he knocked on the floor, on the floor still... he makes himself fuckin protein shakes, and he doesnt clean up his messes, and dont even get me started on his room... jeeezz... so, anyways, the night before my parents went to florida, we talked about the motorcycle, and it was kind of an argument, but it ended easy, and turned into a nice convo... so, I'm now sort of thinking about looking for a mobile home, as living in an apartment may be a lost cause... but anyways, my mom called me a few minutes before they left for Florida, and told me that when they got back home they'd help me look for a bike, which is really cool... So... I'm happy, plus, I paid my bills today, and I got a good amount of money in my bank acct. last night, I was supposed to go out with Tom, and the guys, but Toms sister went into labor, and that scratched that soo..... I guess I'm better off, so me and my brother went out to dinner last night, and then went back home, I went up stairs and played video games for a while and went back down stairs where i fell asleep on the recliner, I woke up this morning, with a decent amount of sleep... I was happy about that, lately I've been getting woken up around 4:00am to let the friggen dogs out and feed the cats and dogs and shit... so an extra 3 hours of sleep was nice, i guess the dogs slept late hehe... so anyways... the weather has been really crazy lately, between the snow and rain, and then warm weather, and cold weather, I dont know, I cant keep up with it.... Spring is only a few days away though.... Spring and warm weather make me happy.... I like spring for a few reasons... The weather is warm... Girls dress in belly shirts, and show more skin... I can roll the windows down in my car =) and the nights get longer, plus it means that im going to be going on Vacation soon... Im prolly going to lake george, but it may get changed, we may go to Jersey, or somewhere like that if that gets scrapped, I don't care I just wanna relax a lil bit... Todays been a pretty good day though, i went paid some bills and stuff, and sat and watched TV, I watched two good movies, I watched Charlotte Gray, which is about WW2 and Nazis and stuff, which is one of my interests, and then I watched MEN IN BLACK 2 Very Funny Movie!! I thought it was hilarious... So now, I'm watching 10 things I hate about u... this is a cute flick, with me having nothing to do, I am just sitting here, watching TV bored... bored bored... anyways what else... so much to talk about... ohhh yeah... I was looking for a t-shirt in my brothers dresser, and i moved over one of his shirts, and there was like a handful of condoms, out of the wrapper, and condom wrappers my jaw just dropped, I don't know if he used them or not... but I guess he's really doing "it" with his girlfriend, one thing that I'm not with mine... thats for sure... I guess im better off not getting any, cuz for one its just another distraction in my relationship... plus i really dont care whether or not im going to get any or not... umm... ohh yeah me and Brynne are beginning to talk again more and more... im also beginning to pop online more and more to look for her... I really enjoy talking to her... shes perfect in every which way possible... I'm so happy when i talk to her... and i still think truthfully she feels the same way... shes just reluctant cuz shes got a boyfriend... I want to dissappear for a couple days not tell anyone where im going or anything... and just go and see her, just to touch her for 5 minutes would be pure bliss... to kiss her, would be heaven, and to smell her skin, would make me cry with happiness, and truthfull i think it would be the same exact way for her too... Its just a matter of time, before my life takes an odd turn... and me and my G/f Break up... and .... the rest will be history and I will drive to TX. and elope with the girl of my dreams... ahahahaha just a matter of time... I love her sooooo dearly... she's all i think about, all i want... So anyways tommarow my parents will be home, then we will take about this bike, id like to go down to jersey and take a look at the bike and if the price is right i will buy it... anyways, tonight, i am going to wal-mart, and im picking up Schindlers List, that is one of the most amazing movies i've ever seen. I love that movie, the funny thing is, Brynne, loves it too... one more reason why i think we are honestly meant for each other... anyways, Time's ticken, and i gotta get runnin... I got to meet my g/f at 3:30 so we can go out and get some food, then I will come back here tonight and clean up the house a little more, so the house looks decent for my parents when they come home. It's back to work for me tommarow, whooopie I cant wait... Well gotta run... adios my friends its been fun!!

 Mattģ

Lyrics for Today:
The Early November - I want to hear you sad.

These eyes They're strongly covered in disguise. Theyíre waiting on the real, time again. Youíll see That no one knows for sure. For all of this, Iím better off without you. Do you regret, so, your loneliness? This ride Is drifting slowly to the side. Weíre swerving off the road, Going past the cones. That warns us from the start. For all of this, Iím better off without you. Do you regret,so, your loneliness? For all of this, Iím better off without you. Do you regret all your loneliness? (Background) Every day goes, every night goes, Every day goes, every night goes, Every day goes, every night. (Lead) On and on, We sing this song the entire day, Thatís oh so long. Every night we sing this song for you. For all of this, Iím better off without you. Do you regret, so, your loneliness? For all of this, Iím better off without you. Do you regret, so, your loneliness?





Posted at 06:18 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 6, 2004
The Great Debate

So It's Saturday... And here I sit again at work, While I am here, I ponder the many things that make our Society Tick... So, I will Share some of my Opinions on current events in the world and what I think, Think of todays post as an Editorial...

LEt Em' Marry...

So all the Buzz on the news is all about the Gay Marriage Crap going on, I find it kinda cool that our area is getting some exposure (NEW PALTZ, NEW YORK) New Paltz is that little college town, where I went to get drunk last week, its such a nice quaint little town, so on the topic of gay marriage, why must our fricken Government whether its state or federal have a word in everything, as a Heterosexual male, with many gay friends, I don't see where in the constitution is says "All men are created equal"-Except for Homosexuals. It doesn't last time I checked... What happened with Seperating Church and state... we can keep religion out of our schools, but obviously we can't out of the oval office... We're all americans here for the most part, and we all want to be equal... in my opinion Jason West, is the exact equivalent to Martin Luther King in his day... West is now facing prosecution for doing something in which other say are "illegal" and so was Dr. King, both are fighting for Civil Rights, a man, and a man Married is just the same as a Man and Woman married in my opinion... although I think Marriage is about religion it is about much more considering, the fact that to have a working relationship it takes, love, honesty, and dedication... ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING AS A MAN AND A WOMAN ONLY IT IS BETWEEN A MAN AND MAN OR A WOMAN AND A WOMAN... ok... Next...

Our President...
    George W. Bush, has been in office for just about 4 years, and I think the world is trying to throw him under a bus for certain things I honestly dont feel he was responsible for... First, 9/11 and our Economy, When I was in High School one of my teachers Blatantly Told us, by this time in 3 years the Economy will be going through some downfalls, and he was right, the economy went into a recession, companies werent spending jobs were cutting back or outsourcing, Stocks were doing poorly, however I think the main reason behind all of it was because of the 9/11 Terror Attacks, the Attacks Crippled the economy, and that is exactly what the terrorists wanted, they do this because they dont want to see our nation do better they want to see us fail, and do terribly economically, I thgink by Bush taking us to war was a gift and a curse, cuz it took the maniacle Saddam Hussein out of power as well as gave the iraqis more freedom but now Our men are dieing and I think he should get them all out and let them fix it on their own...truthfully... but thats my thought on that...

Thats just a few thoughts on my mind, anyways Im about to head out im going crazzeee.... Im going to type out a letter to Chrystal, sayin what up, and all that good stuff see ya laterz!!!

MaTTģ
EVERYTIME I POST I WILL **TRY** and post a new set of Lyrics for a band, usually punk, or EMO, but it depends on my mood... Enjoy!

Lyrics for today:

My Bloody Valentine - Good Charlotte

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life

I ripped out
His throat
And called you on the telephone
To take off
My disguise
Just in time to hear you cry
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'...

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

There was
Police and
Flashing lights
The rain came down so hard that night and the
Headlines read
A lover died
No tell-tale heart was left to find when you...

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'...

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

Tonight

He dropped you off, I followed him home
Then I, I stood outside his bedroom window
Standing over him, he begged me not to do
What I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight
Tonight



Posted at 04:59 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 5, 2004
Tell All your friends!

Hey, whats up, not too much going on in my side of town, the past couple days have been slow, todays friday... its been raining on and off, I just stopped over at this lil restaurant and bar down the road and grabbed lunch... I was hungry... anyways, what else is new, nothing really, Chrystals back in NYC I miss her... I want to party with her again... its funny I've never really felt anything like this before, I've had friends I've cared about but I wanna hang out with her again... She's so much fun... I am going to write her later tonight I think, either when I get home or sometime today... Last night I went to wal-mart and picked up 3 DVD's 1st: DUMB and DUMBERER... (the second dumb and dumber), 2nd: Dude Where's my Car, and 3rd: South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut, lol... I got em all really really cheap so i said what the hell, So we watched Dumb and Dumberer It was hilarious, Some dumb parts but aside from that it was funny as hell! lol Tonight, me and my G/F will prolly watch dude wheres my car and South Park.... Anyways... I am going to go play a lil SOCOM and maybe take a lil nap... before I have to get my G/F so she can get her car... Im outtie!! LatErz..
   Mattģ

Posted at 03:34 pm by FinDingEmo
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Mar 3, 2004
THE MEST SHOW!!!!!!!

Puttin on the Ritz!


Well, It's been a couple days since I've last written here, been busy with work, and stuff, so I haven't had much time to spend Bloggin my days, anyways, the weathers getting warmer yesterday it was like 65 degrees it was awsome! Today it's going to be warm too  thank goodness spring is here... anyways, yesterday night after work I headed home, and got changed, and went up to Hyde Park, to pick up Chrystal for the MEST/Matchbook Romance show. haha we got there a lil late cuz I got semi-Lost... anyways I picked up Chrystal and she popped in this CD she entitled it "Puttin on the Ritz" LoL we listened to the song the whole ride there, and while driving Chrystal brought a small bottle of Smirnoff Raspberry Vodka, and Vanilla coke with her, so she was drinking that the way to the show, then when we parked I took a shot, and chased it with the coke, lol! we got in the club finally, and I bought her an Amaretto Sour, and Myself a Corona, then we headed up to the balcony to find a good view spot to watch the show... after a lil bit of Dynamite boys, finally Matchbook Romance Comes out!!! POUGHKEEPSIES OWN MATCHBOOK F'N ROMANCE!!! The First song they Open their set with was, "MY EYES BURN" (Yes thats why My Blog is called My Eyes Burn! I WAS GOING NUCKING FUTS!!! LOL Singing every Lyric, so finally by the end of their set, the crowd wanted more, So they gave us 1 more song! Matchbook Rocked the House, most of the people just went to see Matchbook, cuz they are such a well known band in the EMO world, plus they are from Poughkeepsie! So After Matchbook got over, Fallout Boy Played, they rocked too, but finally MEST... MEST PUT ON AN AMAZING SHOW!! Apparently they are doing a world tour (DON't get your hopes down yet Klara, they may come to philipinnes) MEST Played a real long set, Rocking the house through each song, the lead Singers younger Brother even played the last song with them, kids were jumping on stage singing with them and everything, Chrystal was having a blast, from the beginning to the end Chrystal had about 5 or 6 drinks and by the end of the show she was plastered! lol she's so much fun, So we went out to the car, and she began dancing and stuff, so we waited in the parking lot for like a half hour for her friend Amanda to show up, Amanda was going to give her a ride home from the chance, while waiting she was talking with some guys in the car next to us, they kinda freaked me out a lil bit wit the things they were saying to her, cuz she was very drunk and wild, and they said some suggestive things to her, that made me feel uncomfortable, cuz it was about 5 guys against 1 it wouldnt be a fair fight! LoL, but they were cool and ended up taking off, finally Amanda showed up and picked Chrystal up, and We went our seperate ways however, I forgot I had Chrystals ID on me so she called me and I had to go back and meet her and give her back her ID LOL!! Crazy-ness so finally I got home and called my G/F she was tired and so was I so we talked for a lil while then I went took a shower and crashed! I was so tired! LoL Today has been pretty well I mean heck its my friday so I can't complain too much! Works going well... I left my wallet at home, so now when i get out of here I gotta run and grab my wallet... Ohh yeah what else is new... I heard from Shannon, She's doing well, baby and all... It's nice to hear from her every now and again Oh My goodness Last night was so much fun... I can't get over Chrystal, shes a Pisser!! LoL!! She dresses so great too... ehehe sometimes I can't keep my eyes off her... =) heehehe... Im a dawg I know! LoL... Well what else is new, not a whole lot, works sorta slowed down, theres just about two hours to go now... Boy I can't wait to get out of here and go and relax maybe grab a cup of coffee or something... I wanna take my car to the car wash tonight but its going to rain its not worth it lol... fricken rain suxx balls!! LoL!! Well... I should get going I've been on here long enough blabbin away... take care Be good Have Phun!!!
  
"Trying Hard to Look like Gary Cooper... Super Duper"

         MaTtģ

PS HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO MY EYES BURN by Matchbook Romance

Matchbook Romance - My Eyes Burn

My eyes burn from these tears
You think youíd learn over these years
Good things wonít last forever

So what the hell am I suppose to do
You only wanted the things that I couldnít give to you
And you had it all anyway

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

Tell me i'm wrong when I say
I canít expect you to stay forever with me
I live for the single moment

I take back everything i've said
You would those words on you lips
As if they meant anything

Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
It seems I do more harm than good
And I donít know if itís worth me loosing sleep over this

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

Tell me Iím wrong when I say it
I canít expect you to stay forever with me
I live for the single moment

So take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place

So take take everything and leave me scrambling
Reaching for something that wasnít there in the first place



Ahhh Not Much Going on, Getting my ass handed to me in SOCOM I'm pissed about that tonight, anyways Talked to Chrystal today over email shes going back to NYC I wont be seeing her for a while, I'll Miss her shes such a good friend!  I Loved hanging out with her at the show shes such a blast Wow... Jeez... Too bad we were so far away, and I had a g/f sometimes I think we'd make a good couple hahaha... we both like the same stuff, My girlfriend, I can't even take her to the club or to a show, she dont like that stuff, shes such a kill joy sometimes... I dunno... Life is so funny sometimes, I'm glad I have her as my friend... Chrys. If ur reading this dont get the wrong Idea... of me! =) Well... I gotta take a leak then im gonna try and smoke some mofo's on SOCOM Talk to ya Later!


Posted at 03:55 pm by FinDingEmo
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Feb 28, 2004
HungOver...

Well, Thursday Night, 11:00pm Rolled around, and I headed to work to meet my friends to head to the bar. We got to the bar maybe an hour later, and went to the Sakť Bar and began our Binge so to speak... we all did a shot of Sakť and then myself and Tom had a japanese beer, called Sapporo, Good Beer, smooth tasting. through the time at the Sakť bar, we had many more shots, inside the bar, there is three bars, the Sakť bar, a regular bar, and then downstairs was a club with another bar, each of them I had at least 1 drink, so after drinking a good amount of Sakť, (some of which was on the house, the bartender was Japanese and so damn fine), beer, and Some shots we walked/stumbled to Mcgullicuddy's which was right up the road. so we went there and I had a beer, and the guys were playing pool having a good time, then my other buddy Matt bought me a Southern Comfort and Lime shot... I had a few more of those through the nights end, and as the night progressed, I made some friends, as I got more messed up. I was haning with this chick Fiona (or something) and I was buyin her drinks and stuff we were flirting a lil bit, but my buddies kept telling me it was just the beer goggles and it wasnt worth it... So finally around 4am or so we left the bar, and we headed back to work. I was probably very annoying in the car but luckily I didnt puke or anything. I ended up passing out here, I woke up in the morning and gathered my stuff, and headed out I headed home around 8:00 and went right to bed when i walked in. My mom was up and suprised to see me home so late, I told her that I slept at work, cuz it was a late night. Then I headed back to sleep, and slet til the afternoon around 12:00pm I woke up ran to the bathroom and threw up a lil, once I threw up I felt better bit still had a headache my g/f asked what was wrong I told her I had a lil bugg lol hehe... if she only knew. LoL... So last night we went to Perkins and got some food, I hadnt eaten anything the whole day, I just drank Gatorade and V8 and Water. So I had French toast with Water and I felt ok. I havent thrown up anything else now so I'm happy... Think the hangover is done, I'd like to go out drinking with the guys again, but in a few weeks, I think im going to give drinking a rest for now, lol... I had a good time, maybe next time I'll hit on hotter girls though lol!! Well Im bout to head out  go get some Breakfast, I'll talk later, only few days left til MEST!! Whoohoo!! Peace!!

 MaTtģ

Lyrics for today:

Bulimic - The Used

From the way that you acted
To the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
And now it's sad cause all I missed
Wasnít that good to begin with
And now I've started you begging 
Saying things that you don't mean
It isn't worth my time
A line's a dime a million times
And I'm about to see all of them 

(Chorus)
Goodbye to you (Goodbye to you)
Youíre taking up my time 
Goodbye to you (Goodbye to you)
Youíre taking up my time
Goodbye to you (Goodbye to you)
You're taking up my time
Goodbye to you (Goodbye to you)

You call my name when I wake up 
To see things go your way
Iím coughing up my time
Each drag's a drop of blood a grain
A minute of my life
Itís all I've got just to stay down
Why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all thatís mine
Each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)
Iím about to see a million things
I thought Iíd never see before and I
Iím about to do all the things I dreamed of
And I don't even miss you at all 

(Repeat Bridge)

(Repeat Chorus)



Posted at 11:22 am by FinDingEmo
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